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TODAY'S LAUGH!

Tom

Administrator
Staff member
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too closely and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
Within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied,"Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
 
I think this is the realization of every young girl of this new generation...😳😂 A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well,” said her mother, “so – how was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language – things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home … PLEASE MAMA!” “Sarah, Sarah,” her mother said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?” “Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed – they’re just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!!” “Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset… Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!” Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, mama…words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook.......
 
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen.” " That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?” "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore, I chose "Carmen”. "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
 
An attractive woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red.
One day, whilst taking a stroll,she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentleman,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"
The gentleman responded,"Well twice a day,I stand in front of my tomato garden, naked under my trench coat, and flash them.
My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much"
Well, the woman was so impressed that she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomatoes to see if they would turn red.
So, twice a day for two weeks, she flashed her naked body in her garden, hoping for the best.
One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes
turn red?"
"No," she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
 
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