LAUGH FOR TODAY

TS3X65MPH

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #608 on: August 07, 2017, 10:09:46 PM »
Says it all.
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

TS3X65MPH

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #609 on: August 07, 2017, 10:14:08 PM »
Why Putin envies Trump.
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

TS3X65MPH

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #610 on: August 07, 2017, 10:19:05 PM »
Patina !
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

jaded iconoclast

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #611 on: August 09, 2017, 12:21:26 AM »
Patina !
That would make a hell of a t-shirt!! ;)
Free your mind, think for yourself, keep the 1st amendment alive

jaded iconoclast

  • Hero Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #612 on: August 09, 2017, 12:23:45 AM »
Why Putin envies Trump.
The irony is, probably all the women in the Trump photo are from former soviet block countries! :D
Free your mind, think for yourself, keep the 1st amendment alive

3 deuces

  • Sr. Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #613 on: August 09, 2017, 09:56:31 AM »
hey they know where the moneys at.

Daves 40cp

  • Sr. Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #614 on: August 15, 2017, 09:58:23 AM »
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'....
and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.....’
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return.
He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be:
I have a Ferrari, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a PorscheTurbo in my several garages;
I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Texas .
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off two inches.
Just send the wine back....’
Daves 40cp

oldsjoe

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #615 on: August 15, 2017, 12:10:27 PM »
Will I Live to 80?

(Here's something to think about.)


I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age.(I am a tad past sixty).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
No, I don't,' I said.
She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.........
She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit?
Living the DREAM!!! One nut and bolt at a time!

DavyJ

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #616 on: August 15, 2017, 12:33:34 PM »
From my 11 yr old grandson last night:

Papa, you have the heart of a lion.............................that is why you are banned from the zoo for life



Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar?        they each got six months..............

from the minds of our youth      :)
Living life at a 100 smiles per hour!

Tom

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #617 on: August 15, 2017, 05:08:29 PM »
From my 11 yr old grandson last night:

Papa, you have the heart of a lion.............................that is why you are banned from the zoo for life



Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar?        they each got six months..............

from the minds of our youth      :)

Love it!  There's a 10 year old boy on my daughters' swim team who always has a joke:

Why did the toilet paper NOT cross the road?  It got stuck in a crack.

Bob has no arms.  Bob has no legs.  Knock Knock !  Who's there?  It's not Bob !

There were 2 muffins, one said to the other 'Hello'.  'EEK! A talking muffin!' said the other.

Daves 40cp

  • Sr. Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #618 on: August 15, 2017, 05:56:04 PM »
God Help me!
Daves 40cp

oldsjoe

  • Hero Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #619 on: August 18, 2017, 07:20:48 AM »
Always wondered where and who did this.  Joe

The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner

Here's a little fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends.
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 F degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.
They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 F degrees inside, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off almost immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
There was no way that Old man Ford was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.





And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --


Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.
Living the DREAM!!! One nut and bolt at a time!

TS3X65MPH

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #620 on: August 18, 2017, 04:31:23 PM »
Think this sums up difference between F1 & 24 hrs. nicely.
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

TS3X65MPH

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Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #621 on: August 18, 2017, 04:38:43 PM »
Mini Van
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

TS3X65MPH

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  • THANKS TO MY DAD & MOM,WIFE GLYNIS & SON STEVEN
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #622 on: August 18, 2017, 04:40:51 PM »
Never know who's watching.
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

TS3X65MPH

  • Hero Member
  • THANKS TO MY DAD & MOM,WIFE GLYNIS & SON STEVEN
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #623 on: August 18, 2017, 07:31:26 PM »
Has it really gotten so bad that you would put this on your car.
Wonder if Allen's getting paid for this ad.
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.