LAUGH FOR TODAY

TS3X65MPH

  • Hero Member
  • THANKS TO MY DAD & MOM,WIFE GLYNIS & SON STEVEN
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #592 on: May 06, 2017, 07:36:12 PM »

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, When he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with Little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly Coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighter's Helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her Cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure Is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration. ‘Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. 'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
You Aren't Living If Your Windshield Isn't Dirty.

29bowtie

  • Hero Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #593 on: May 24, 2017, 05:08:05 PM »
 :D :D
Professionals built the Titanic, An Amateur built the Ark

Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #594 on: May 29, 2017, 11:15:49 AM »

oldsjoe

  • Hero Member
Re: LAUGH FOR TODAY
« Reply #595 on: June 05, 2017, 11:23:51 AM »




A man is driving down a deserted

Stretch of highway

When he notices a sign

Out of the corner of his eye...

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.


 

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,


'What may we do for you! My son?'


 

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'


 

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'


 

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'


 

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.


 

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:


 

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY

THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER






 
Living the DREAM!!! One nut and bolt at a time!